miscarriage

(please forgive me for making such a personal announcement in a public way. my heart can't take making lots of phone calls but i wanted you to know).

it is amazing how you can love someone so much - someone you have only known a week.

last week tim and i learned that i was pregnant. an unexpected joy! it felt surreal and i was pleasantly surprised because i wasn't as sick as i was with sam.

over the weekend we took a picture of sammy with a big sister sign and shared it with our families. joy filled our hearts.

monday at work things began to go wrong. and later that day we said good-bye.

a week ago when i knew i was pregnant but didn't really believe it i felt the Lord saying, "hold this one with open hands." somehow i knew something didn't feel right. and even with that knowledge - even with the hesitancy - i began to love. and now that we are saying good-bye i find myself filled with unexpected emotion and lots of tears.

brooke, my sister, said she thought it was a boy. i think she is right.

this child will forever be a part of our story as a family. a life loved and lost.

these days i find myself sad but incredibly thankful. this baby, much like sam, was a gift. i am also thankful for the Lord's profound presence with us. peace has filled our home along with the tears. samantha makes us smile. and an ultrasound confirmed my body is in fine condition. much to be thankful for.

we desire to grieve well and to love each other well through this process - neither is easy. we would covet your prayers for both.

thank you for the ways you love us. thank you for being with us.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted - Psalm 34:18