Sam's first confession of "like"

moments ago - out of her mouth comes:

"I like books!"    with a heart full of pride and joy - i reply with, "I like books too." 

I love that we are finally in the stage where anything sweet and funny can come out of her mouth at any time. 

well - off to read books!

absent and present

I filled out a survey last week for our church. One of the questions was, "what is the most important thing to your generation?" I don't know if this is true for all but certainly for me - relationships - are the single most important thing.

Relationships. The reality that relationships are the single most important thing to me has become more and more clear recently. The pull of certain relationships and the lack of attention to others.

The pull of certain relationships. Clara Louise and Samantha Jean are the two people on earth I spend the most time with - hands down. My relationships with my daughters are significant and I have been trying to be intentional about being present to them each day. Timothy Knipp - another significant relationship. I want to have enough energy left at the end of the day to have something to give to Tim. Not always successful but I am trying.

I remember a conversation Tim and I had late in my pregnancy with Clara where he asked me to cut down on my to-do list everyday so I would have energy for him. Gulp. Listening ears on. To-do list shorter.

Lately my extended family has been another more significant source of energy and time. My grandma (my dad's mom and last living grandparent) was put on hospice a little over a week ago. She is dying. She feels it. We all are feeling it. Whether it is extra trips to visit or more frequent mental trips down memory lane - the emotional weight has been amped up around the Latimer household because we are walking the road of death with her. Tim's grandparents, on his mom's side, are also not doing well and so seeing our parents caring for their parents is apart of our present reality. The pull and desire to support our parents is strong.

The time and attention these relationships are requiring, and that I am choosing to give to them, means others are receiving less. This is hard for me. Those of you I haven't called or emailed or texted or skyped. I am feeling the loss. I am sorry. I wish I had more time and energy. I am thankful for the security in knowing my lack of attention presently will not dramatically affect our relationship into the future.

The blog is also feeling the lack of attention. Poor blog. Three years ago you got so much attention. Thank you for continuing to check-in despite the lack of attention.

Speaking of attention. The sweet 2 month old I was certain was asleep is crying and needing some attention. And I think I also hear the rattle of Samantha's baby. Nap time for her is about up too.

Friends - I miss you - I will do my best to keep the blog updated. I care about our relationships. Know that I use the time when I am awake with Clara at 4:00 am to pray for you as you come to mind. Thank you for caring. Bye for now.

sisters

Yeah for sisters!

Sam has just recently taken an interest in holding Clara. She will ask to "help" with Clara and then hold her for maybe 10 seconds. Tim captured one of these moments the other evening.
giving Clara tickles
holding hands
Clara clearly was just as excited as Sam throughout :)

change and stability - my new years reflection

Happy New Year from the Knipps!! I had good intentions of sending out holiday cards of some kind, but yesterday i gave in to the fact that it isn't important enough right now to make happen. Life is full - in a lovely way - but some things just don't happen.

We just returned from an incredible time in Colorado - and i do hope to post more pictures of our time with Tim's family in the next week. After returning we spent New Years Eve with our good friends the Rees family (whom we lived with in Vancouver). A few minutes before midnight Joyce asked all of us for a word or phrase or hope we would like to mark 2012 - almost immediately I knew my word was stability.

2011 was marked by profound change. January of 2011 we were living in Vancouver. Tim had yet to graduate, we were still waiting to get pregnant, we didn't know where we would be living or what we would be doing. And the Lord was speaking to me about His faithfulness. It seemed like every Sunday and throughout the week themes of the Lord's faithful love were coming up.

Psalm 26:3 seems to capture what the Lord was up to in me:

for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

In subtle and not so subtle ways the Lord was teaching me again about His faithful love and asking me to live in trust. And although I don't know if I was "always" mindful as the Psalm suggests - it was certainly something He was calling me to remember on a daily basis.

February came and we found out we were pregnant! I knew from the beginning the baby would be strong. (And she certainly is!) Gabe and Brooke also found out they were pregnant - the babies were due just a few days apart. March came and Gabe and Brooke lost their baby. Their miscarriage was hard to work through - for them and for us. It reminded us of our own miscarriage and of the huge gift it is to have a healthy baby/pregnancy. Thankfully a few months later they became pregnant again - and Brooke and baby girl are about to cross the 37 week mark!! Something we are so thankful for!!

Tim graduated from Regent in late April/early May (I can't remember when exactly). And continued to search for a full time job. The process of him talking with different places and sifting through where the Lord was leading also caused us to lean into the Lord. In July he accepted a full time position at Hillcrest Chapel as the teaching/adult education pastor. He is currently preaching once or twice a month and facilitating adult education (he taught a class this fall, had a few evening lectures, took people to Regent to hear different speakers and taught a weekend intensive class). He is doing an incredible job (totally unbiased opinion). If you want to hear his sermons - they are on Hillcrest's website.

August brought a move to Bellingham/Fairhaven. Saying goodbye to Vancouver was definitely a grieving process. Vancouver and the Williams Street house will always have a special place in our hearts. We love where we live in Fairhaven- just a short walk from the church, coffee shops, groceries, etc... It was a stressful hunt but after looking on Craigslist for 50 times an hour - Tim found us a great home.

At the end of August I finished my time at the Purpose Society, where I was working as a family therapist - to focus on the pregnancy and sweet Sammy Jean. I don't have immediate plans to return to work as a counselor but I am finding meaningful ways to connect with others and use my skills. I love my days with our girls.

November 6 - Clara Louise was born! She is delightful. The first few weeks she was with us were difficult ones, as Clara was having a hard time adjusting to the world outside of the womb. In particular she would often be crying from 8-11 in the evening and was difficult to console. Thankfully nights these days are much easier and she cries significantly less. She is a much different baby than Sam, but we are learning her tastes. She has a great smile! She loves to be warm and to be held. She hates the car. She loves the bath, as long as it is hot. We think she may have some red in her hair and blue eyes. We are so thankful for the gift she is!

Samantha Jean is a great big sister. She too has had a lot of change this year. She is now potty trained. She is talking in English more consistently. She is making new friends at church and at playgroup. Some things, however, remain the same for her. She still loves to run and play chase. She loves being outside. She loves to eat cheese and carbs. She is happiest when her dada is at home. She loves time with her extended family. She loves to read. She loves to dance and sing.

Reflecting back on the year I find myself incredibly thankful for God's faithful presence. There were many moments where life felt unknown and was marked by waiting and uncertainty.  Yet I found such strength remembering His constant, consistent presence and love. Looking into this next year I am again thankful that even if stability doesn't mark our circumstances (although I hope it does) - we find our hope in a God who is stable - who is constant - who remains the same.

May you too seek and find Him - the God who is constant and full of unfailing love.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year,

love,

Kristi

(ps - thanks to Brooke for taking some amazing family pictures again this year! we love you!)